There are a lot of things in life that are control what you can control of your control, such as the weather and the actions of other people. But you can control the way you react to them. Focusing on what you can control, rather than what you can’t, will save you energy and stress. It will also make you feel happier.
Whether you’re trying to change the world or just get through the day, it can be difficult to know what to do and how to think about situations that are out of your hands. This is often because of cognitive distortions, which are thoughts that cause you to view a situation more negatively than it actually is.
Finding Serenity: Embracing ‘Control What You Can Control
A common cognitive distortion is the control fallacy, which is the belief that you have more control than you do. This can be a big problem because it can lead to unnecessary suffering, as you spend time and energy worrying about things that aren’t within your power to change.
For example, if someone hurts you, it’s not in your control to change their behavior or stop them from making bad decisions. But you can control the ways you respond to them and how you deal with your own pain, such as practicing mindfulness or finding healthy coping mechanisms.
To help you clarify what you can and cannot control, write down a list of things that are within your control and those that aren’t. This will help you identify the areas where you might be focusing too much energy, which will then allow you to change your behaviors.
